24th January – As we are returning from our daytrip to Krkonoše and I stare outside the window of our car, I cannot help myself but smiling. When I realize how much my life has changed since my last visit in Krkonoše, I still sometimes refuse to believe it.
I was a wreck back then, not knowing if I will ever make it on my own or if I will be ever able to find (let alone build) the life I so desperately yearned for. Rewind forward almost three years and here I am, confident and happy woman who knows what she wants and who cherishes everything she gained on the way.
I simply took the leap of faith back then and jumped into the unknown. And I couldn’t be more grateful today that I did.
I think somewhere there lays the key to understand what adulthood and responsibility mean. The realization that I am the only one responsible for my own happiness was one of those magical moments which have changed my life.
I wished, back then, before I left my last long-term relationship, to find the love of my life, a person who is going to be compatible with me on emotional, intellectual and sexual level (I just couldn’t put that into these words back then yet, for these I thank my yesterday’s Instagram feed) and despite not knowing how powerful these wishes might be, I got it all.
I was also always terrified of the 9-to-5 job, I always used to think about my future job, probably set in one of many corporate companies residing in Prague, as a prison. I thought my life will end in the moment I will step in on my first day. But I found the job I used to love, job that I still like and the employer who really cares about a well-being of their employees.
And I always used to underestimate myself. “I cannot write properly, on a daily basis, no one will care…” I was so busy making up all those excuses that I didn’t have any time left to actually write and work on my dreams. But I managed to change even this hurtful mindset by slowly and constantly changing myself, healing myself and surrounding myself with people who are actually worthy of my time. And now, I live my dream, I am alive by building the dream and I am enjoying every minute of it.
That is why I want to thank the universe today for always guiding me through every messy situation I got myself into. I went through some bumpy ride, yet I am here, and I am so grateful. So grateful for every lesson I have learned along the way and exceptionally grateful for the people and opportunities in my life.
If you are reading this, please, never forget that if you are not happy or satisfied, you can always aim for better. Just take a leap of faith, trust yourself, trust the journey and don’t even for a second think that you are not worth it.