Positive Diary #28 – Friends who came and friends who left

27th January – It sometimes happens. I meet a person who feels like THE ONE best friend I have always wanted, or THE friend of that kind I have always wanted, and I tend to think that we will be best friends ‘til the end of our lives. Nothing can change, after all that is what we can see in movies and read in books about friendship every day, right? And then comes the day when everything changes at once. Live happens. The journey of two friends can bifurcate, we meet new people, sometimes we simply live on a different kind of life and the friendship starts to shrink. From best friends to friends, from friends to acquaintances and from acquaintances to strangers we once used to know. Then what?

I used to think about friendships that changed this way as failures. When this happened with my best friend from high school, I spent several years broken and not able to connect to new people. It was probably hurting more back than then my all love-related troubles of that time. Eventually, I healed and learned again how to make friends again. But still, for a long time, I used to hold grudges and it took me an awful amount of time to let go and forgive.

As I can see something similar happing now again, even though in a smaller scale, I am forced to revisit this idea and the whole concept of friendship. And after the stage of a tiny, teeny jealousy, after the stage of sadness, here comes the stage of accepting and gratefulness. I am, truly am, so much grateful for friendships which have ended, and I am not holding to any grudges against those who are slowly becoming my acquaintances. Why?

I realized that no matter how any of those relationships ended; it had already given me a lot. Friends who came to my life, gave me some sort of comfort at times when I needed it, and left again. Friends who I though will by mine Ron and Hermione, turned out they weren’t, yet we have lived through unexpected adventures together. Those adventures and memories are already mine and no one can take that away from me. Unless I allow my grudges to do that. And when I look back on every life situation I have been in, advice and comfort of those people were invaluable.

The second reason is a realization that not everything has to last forever. In truth, nothing lasts forever. And therefore, it is completely natural for people to go different ways and in a while, almost forget about each other. I am sure though, that there will be moments, for all of us, when something reminds us of that person, and it will make us smile or laugh or do something silly and crazy which will eventually make us happy. All those tiny fleeting moments count as echoes of that friendship. And those will always make a difference, no matter how distant we are from our past friends.

So, thank you, all my friends who came and left. Thank you, universe, for sending me the right people in the right time as always. I am grateful for every single of them.