We all have been there. Especially during the last 12 months. We commit to something, to fulfilling our dreams, to walk the path we chose to walk before, to learn something new in order to kill some time during the lockdown. And then something happens. A burn-out. A writer’s block. Stressful period of time in life or work. Anything distracting. Life happens and force us to stray from the path we chose.
When I interrupt my commitment, even if it’s just for a day, I tend to feel it as a defeat. Like if I couldn’t continue with the goal the day after even if I wanted to. I bet I am not alone in this. We are surrounded by distractions more than ever. And for people trying to reach their dreams, these distractive tools such as social media are at the same time a profound key to success.
So, let me think a little bit about why it is so difficult and what can we do about it.
Why We Always Quit?
Systematic, regular and consistent work seems to be the only key to being successful, whether we are trying to learn a new language, clean more or loose some weight. We know it yet we keep failing. Why?
Well, first of all, we tend to have more goals at once. And I think it is completely understandable given that the life is short and there is so many things to learn and master. Having too many hobbies and interests and dreams is definitely number one issue for me. It can easily happen that when I finally have some time to invest in my self-development, I cannot decide in what I should invest the time for way to long and I end up scrolling down the IG feed, feeling like I have completely let myself down.
The second problem, which is directly connected to the first one, is that if we have too many hobbies and we cease with our commitment to one of them, there is always another skill to learn, another hobby to pursue or even some obligation we need to take care of, waiting and instantly taking the suddenly free time slot and so we forget about our initial goal really quickly. And then, after a month or a year, we realize that we haven’t move an inch and again, we feel disappointed in ourselves.
Trying to Minimize the Distractive Patterns
Number one tool when trying to fight this quitting and forgetting our goals should be probably minimizing of the distraction and prevention of failing completely and losing one’s grip.
To do that, we should start with conscious managing of our free time. We can learn, slowly, to acknowledge that we are wasting our time for something worthless and gently come back to doing whatever we like. In time, this ability will get stronger. The important part is the gentleness. We want to be gentle with ourselves. Mainly, the rule “Don’t tell yourself anything you wouldn’t tell your loved ones” applies.
If you feel like you are failing at this too, you can always try one of the apps that measure how much time you spend on your phone. I have never tried those but there must be a reason why they are successful.
I am well aware that phones are not the only distraction in our lives so, being conscious and learning to live in the moment is for sure the most solid way to fight this problem. Give it a time, be nice to yourself and in time, you will see the progress.
Rise as a Phoenix
Sure, that’s all easy to say. But what if we won’t get conscious and we will forget to keep on learning, keep on writing, keep on doing whatever we promised to ourselves…? The gentleness come on a stage again!
Once you realize this has happened, it is important not to see it as a failure. At worst, you can see it as a stumbling. And no journey is without those. Even when you were learning how to walk, you stumbled. Many many times, I would guess. Did this stop you in pursuing your goal? No, I bet you can walk like a badass now! Do you see the problem?
The biggest enemy on our journey towards fulfilling our dreams are our heads. Our overthinking brains. Our disbeliefs in ourselves. And that’s something what can be reprogrammed. With time and patience and – you have guessed it – gentleness.
So, go on! Do not wait for anything else and jump on the wagon right where you fell off.
You can do it, no matter what your goal is!