The Positive Diary #10 – Re-charging with friends

6th November 2018 – Hey diary, I know it has been a while. Again. I guess it was very difficult for me to just think about gratitude in the last couple of weeks, let alone actually feeling grateful. But as it happens all the time, new days and new weeks come and once you are down, you can always be sure that the things will get better soon.

Today I want to talk about these crazy nights with our closest friends which somehow manage to make us feel weightless. No worries left, only happy memories of dancing as if it was the last dance and singing so loud as if we just got mad. We all need nights like these once in a while.

I am always very nervous when a new visitor is about to come to our house. Let’s be honest, it isn’t the prettiest house in the universe but still – I haven’t felt so happy, safe and whole nowhere else on this planet. That is of course the reason why I can’t resist inviting my friends to hang out and sleep over.

This Sunday I planned a meeting like that with my two friends from my master program. It all went so well that we ended up going to bed at 5 A.M. and our legs still hurt from the consistent dancing and jumping around. Why am I writing about it? Well, like I said, the last couple of weeks were pretty dull. Nothing made a real sense to me and I felt like an empty bag being dragged by a wind. This our little session changed everything and it was the day after that, when I had to cancel my work appointment in order to survive the day, when I realized how much I needed this!

My optimism and joy from life has return miraculously and I felt whole, grateful and full of love and understanding once again. So I am here today to remind you of your friends and of the marvels which only spending some time with them can bring you. You don’t have to dance, a little chat over a cup of tea will suffice. Even when you are not in a party mood, once you share your insecurities or pain with someone you can trust and rely on, it will make your pain more bearable.

But – sometimes the best thing you can do, even in those darkest moments, is to forget about everything and just to enjoy the night as if it was your last on the Earth. Whether it will help you to heal your soul immediately or whether it will give you just a time-out to gain some power back, it can do a miracle.

Think about it next time, you will feel so desperately in need of energy and purpose.

Take care!

With love,

Wicked And Clever

Šárka

The Positive Diary #9 – Czech medical care

20th October 2018 – Dear Diary, it has been a while, again. This last week was quite a mess. I turned twenty-six last Sunday and since then, everything went downhill. Not only I have found out about the inconvenient of studying while being older than 25, my younger brother, the light of my life and my very best friend, found out that he has a type 1 diabetes. What a shock it was, considering he is about to turn twenty-one next March. To my great surprise, today in my positive diary, I want to talk about medical care here, in Czech Republic.

 

When our mum died, I was so furious about the same system. After what felt like ages, during which my mum was told from various doctors that she is totally okay and if she feels bad, it is probably because she fakes it, she was hospitalized and two months later, she passed away. I was fifteen then and I wasn’t able to understand how this could have happened. I was angry as I was never before. Since then, I always considered your days over once the medical system gets you. I am much older now and, not only based on our latest experience, I have to admit that even here it depends on the people you encounter on your journey, as almost in every case in one’s life. (Also, our mum’s disease was quite rare.)

 

Visits at hospital can be harsh. I know it myself from the visits of my grandpa, as he was fighting a lung cancer, and I know it from the look on faces of my grandparents, as they were coming home from the hospital in the final stage of my mum’s disease. But this time, I was pleasantly surprised, as everyone – nurses, doctors, nuns, and other nursing stuff – was always smiling at us, always eager to explain what bothered us, always happy to answer the dumbest questions of ours.

 

Therefore, today I want to say how grateful I am that my brother was so lucky. I am also grateful that he discovered this freaking disease early enough and thus, there was less space left for the disease to start mess with his body in a hard way. I am so proud and so happy I have my wonderful brother and also satisfied I was able to be with him during those crazy days. (And to freak out about it, just a little bit. O:) )

 

 

Take care until the next time!

With love

 

Wicked And Clever

 

Šárka

The Positive Diary #8 – Ability to cherish our memories

12th October 2018 – We all know these days when we have to do something, some visits or some work we aren’t entirely into. I was wondering today, how I will manage to survive my today’s obstacle, and I was thinking about gratitude from the moment I opened my eyes this morning. I was home alone, with my dogs only, so I had time and space to think it through. At first, I thought I will be grateful for things I have already discovered and wrote about, but then I remembered something from my past and started to laugh loudly and from the heart.

 

My today’s task is not going to be as dramatic as it might sound– we have planned a visit at my mother’s-in-law. The weird thing is, these people are always very nice to me – or I can at least say, they try to – but during the nights there I have these most awful episodes of sadness, inescapability, and I just feel trapped in a life I don’t necessarily want to live. It is a horrifying state of mind. Therefore, no one can possibly wonder why I am so worried when we are almost on the way there.

 

But, and I need to stress this, I am living a new life now. And I don’t want to ruin it. Therefore, I hope I will be able to live it through with a gratitude I am trying to cultivate here through my positive diary notes. Today, I want to write about our ability to cast almost forgotten memories back at the moments we tend to lose our hope.

 

My happy memory, the one that made me laugh this morning, isn’t that old. It came from this June when me, my classmates and teachers spend five incredible days in Jeseniky Mountains. The memory involves a story about me and one of my best friends being drunk, but the funniest part – in retrospective, it definitely didn’t seem funny back then – was when we were climbing a mountain the day after, in the most sunny and warm weather and with the second greatest hangover I have ever had. The jokes and quotes about how we are going to die very soon was comical. And except that we felt very sick, it was a perfect day.

 

I love to think about my memories like if they were ordered as books in a book shelves in my private room where I am the only one person able to entre. And when I feel sad, broken or lonely, when I am trying to remember something, I can go through them page by page and search and live it again and feel these emotions again. I believe that we can learn to focus more on the books which contains happy beautiful memories and we can cherish them in these moments when we feel down.

 

I know it is better to live our lives in the present moment, but sometimes we have no other choice than to live something inconvenient through. And in these moments, it is better to grasp any helping hand we can than not to do it.Our heads can be mighty allies while fighting. So, let’s be thankful for this ability to resist bad thoughts by remembering the good ones from the past – or maybe by daydreaming the ones that are yet to come.

 

I wish you the most joyful, colorful and memorable weekend!

 

With love

 

Wicked And Clever

 

Šárka

The Positive Diary #7 – Stealing some time just for ourselves

8th October 2018 – Tell me, my friend, how was your weekend? Mine was, after what felt like ages, very peaceful and I was able to dedicate some time to myself only. And it felt great!

 

I found some time to practice yoga on both evenings. I managed to write articles and fiction, too. I edited another video which was my goal I set for the last two weeks. I also found some time to clean a bit, but not to get crazy about it or super tired. I took time to enjoy the silence and peacefulness of being at home on my own. I posted on Instagram but didn’t spend entire day scrolling down. I managed to stay calm when my husband tried to make me angry. I cooked delicious meals for myself and ate them with love. And most importantly – I have enjoyed every minute of it!

 

Today, I would like to appreciate these moments we steal for ourselves because these are the basic steps towards happiness and gratitude. I feel like we always crave for the love of others but sometimes we forget to give love and care to ourselves to begin with. It took me some time to learn it and then again it took me some time to actually live by this rule but now I am not surprised I wasn’t feeling happy and whole back then.

 

We are sometimes taught as we grow up that the self-love and self-care is a selfish thing. I say f.ck it! There should always be balance in everything we do, otherwise the nice things stop to make us happy. Therefore, we should always remember, while giving so much love and care to others, we shouldn’t forget about ourselves either.

 

Be grateful with me today, for being able to steal some time for ourselves and for doing so with a deep love and understanding.

No regrets allowed here. 🙂

 

Have a wonderful evening, my friend, no matter what you are up to!

 

With love,

Wicked And Clever

Šárka

The Positive Diary #6 – Gratitude for the daily life

1st October 2018 and the week after – Dear Diary, it has been already few days since you heard from me last time. The reason is simple – I was out of office for several days with my master program. And how the story went, it made me realize how terribly grateful I am for the luxury of my own comfortable and fulfilled life.

 

The first hint – when we lost our signals on our phones. We felt little bit uncomfortable because we knew all of us has someone home who wishes to know that the traffic was okay, and we made it to the camp safely. Fortunately, our friend with his car was there too so he was able to drive us to find the lost signal, at least to let people know we arrived in one piece. Social media and other fun were out of business for that time as well but that is not always a bad thing, right?

 

The second hint – when we saw our accommodation. It was this ugly filthy small shack with several beds and a draught. Given that the night temperatures were forecast to be around zero, I was little bit scared every evening and wondered if I will make it through the night. I have to admit my sleeping bag wasn’t in a good condition and I truly underestimated how cold nights could actually be there.

 

And the third hint – when few of our classmates started to be sick with gastric flu. Not only there was no signal and no place to take a rest, no one wanted to be infected because our day trips on this particular outside block class are sometimes very challenging and there is no way you could use a bathroom when you are sick. You can’t simply because you are all day long outside in a terrain.

 

This made me feel incredibly grateful for what I have in my daily life. Just the option of taking a nap in a nicely warm room, hidden in your blanket and cuddling with your dogs, is a pure happiness. Being able to connect with people is also very convenient and I would say once you get used to it there is no way back.

 

So today I wanted to say how grateful I was this whole week for what I have in my life. I know there are so many people out there – no matter if I’m talking about our society or people outside of it – who aren’t that lucky. I have a roof over my head, I have a warm bed with two living and breathing heaters in a form of chihuahuas, I am on my path to fulfill my dreams and I am surrounded mostly by people who makes me stronger and prouder of who I am. I have everything that matters.

 

 

I wish you to have the most amazing weekend!

 

 

With love,

Wicked And Clever

Šárka

 

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The Positive Diary #5 – Ability to learn new languages

25th September 2018 – Let me tell you a story about one of my lovely friends. You have actually already heard about her here several times. She is this almost mysterious, sweet, heart-equipped human being, fragile but always fighting. I haven’t seen her almost for a year by now but we are still having this small but very important discussions about life with the use of our iPhones. These talks always help me to realize certain things in their whole weight and size. Even today I came to realize something I was thinking about for some time.

And that is of course the reason why today I want to talk about our ability to learn foreign languages.

As you might have already noticed, I am a Czech native speaker who developed her English language skills into the point you can see here, on my Instagram and in my new video on YouTube. As such, I realized I’m not quite the same person when I use one language or the other. There are simply some things I would never dare to say in Czech but in English it feels almost natural to me to say them. And that includes dreaming big, telling people how special they are and also the love and respect we should give to ourselves.

Therefore, I am grateful today for our ability to learn and speak foreign languages. With learning one, we accept the rythm of its sentences and the laws of its grammar, we absorb it into our DNA and we let the language smoothly change our perspective of the world, of our dreams and even of ourselves. By learning single one foreign language I’m able to live two separate lives. And I will bet that if I would start to speak fluent a third language, I would be able to live three.

What are your “other languages”? Have you experienced this effect too? And which languagues do you plan to learn for way too long but you actually never had the time to do it?

I hope one day I will have a life as a Spanish person as well. And until then I will be grateful for living in the era in which knowledge is accessible within my arms reach.

Have a wonderful evening!

Yours

Wicked And Clever

Šárka

The Positive Diary #4 – Fighting our demons and weaknesses

23rd September 2018 – Today I managed to fight and win over one of my biggest fears on my way to fulfil my dreams. Today was the day when I published my first video on YouTube. I am very grateful for overcoming this fear of mine. After all – it is said the hardest steps towards our goals are the first ones. The pain for me was hidden in the need to step out of my comfort zone and to show the world (even when there are just a few who saw the video) who actually I am.

 

I am grateful today for finding the strength to publish the video. When you fight your low self-confidence and other anxieties this little thing can mean world to you. And it should!

 

Let’s be proud of ourselves today for these small everyday victories we fight for. It doesn’t matter what it is you need to overcome on a daily basis but – you need to be proud of yourself that you are still fighting! Whether it is depression, anxiety, low self-confidence, eating disorder, bad habit or something completely different – you are still here, and you are fighting back. And that is all that matters, that is the one thing you should remind yourself every day.

 

It is time for us to show a little bit respect and love to ourselves.

 

I always say: Who else, if not me… 🙂

 

Have a wonderful rainy, foggy and windy evening!

 

Yours

Wicked And Clever

Šárka

The Positive Diary #3 – Being supportive to each other

22nd September 2018 – I don’t usually feel the need to remind myself of gratitude during the successful days like today. I had a terrific day – after a little blackout when I got the chance to have an offline breakfast and to set my daily goals freely I decided I will finally make my first YouTube video. If the things will go smoothly tomorrow, you should be able to see it tomorrow as it took me the entire rest of the day to edit it into the form with which I am satisfied.

The first hinds of what to be grateful for today came while I was working on the video and texting with one of my friends. And I was definitely sure what to be grateful for when my husband, who kind of isn’t able to be supportive (even though he tries to very hard), went back home from work.

 

Today I want to talk about being supportive to each other, about surrounding ourselves with people who believe in us in those moments when we for some weird and unexplainable reason can’t.

 

I have been having this dream about starting a new English blog and a YouTube channel for two years already. You might wonder why I even bother to start it now and I can tell you I am wondering that too sometimes. Well, it is because I realized I, myself, am my biggest obstacle on the way to reach my dreams, I have to fight my demons alongside the work on these projects. But without friends and some family members who were backing me all that time, it would have been much much harder, if not impossible.

 

Another great thing about having supportive friends is that it is not hard to give the afford back and it also fills you with a pure joy. Because you already know your friends are great and skillful people and with hard work and commitment they can achieve whatever they take into their heads. And the least thing you can do is to tell them.

 

I’ve noticed some people treat words as if these were nothing, as if you could take back what you have already said or worse, as if the words you once said had no meaning to you now in the present. From my point of view, it is the quite opposite. Words work like powerful spells and through them you either hurt someone or you give him the strength to do or to overcome what they need to do or to overcome.

 

Today I am so grateful and happy for having these people in my life, people who cast on me only the good spells, people who helps me to overcome my demons. And today, I am very proud that I can be such guardian for others, for people who are worth sometimes so much more than they tend to think about themselves.

 

I wish you the endless faith in your skills and in improving them beyond the limits. I believe that if you put your best affords into the thing you want to achieve the most, there is no possibility of failing.

 

Good luck, my friends!

 

Yours

Wicked And Clever

Šárka

 

The Positive Diary #2 – Studying the right program

20th September 2018 – Sometimes the reason to be grateful nocks on your nose immediately in the morning, like yesterday. There are however days like today, when nothing seems to make any sense, even though the reason to be thankful is staring at you the whole day.

I didn’t wake up with the greatest mood today and, as the day continued, it wasn’t getting any better. I needed a new pair of jeans and therefore there wasn’t any chance to avoid a shopping mall as we went to get them. I don’t know why but from a certain moment I don’t feel quite well on such places. Everything seems so fake and dishonest there, people, the shops, the goods, even myself! To cut a long story shorter, I was getting more and more irritated. In that moment, it didn’t matter to me that it was wonderful sunny and late summer weather outside or that we took it back home through my favorite way..

It was late in the evening, after I started texting with one of my friends about school which is about to start in a week and about a registration of our classes, when I realized I’m thriving with life and I truly cannot wait the beginning of the semester. On a scale from zero to one hundred, I was excited on one hundred and fifty!

That means I succeeded today as well as yesterday, even though it took me almost the whole day to find out. Today I am thankful for being able to study the one study program that feels like it was created right for me. I am so much grateful that I found out two years back that the social and cultural ecology as a program exists and – what was even more exciting – I was able to study it on my beloved alma mater. I am also very proud of myself (which isn’t always very easy) of having finished the first year without a single flaw and finding eventually a glimpse of purpose in my life.

With that said, I can finally go to bed and hope this little confession will inspire you as well. Inspire you to what? Not being so harsh to yourself and always remembering that no matter how meaningless life can sometimes feel, at the end of the day or the day after that, you will always see a glimpse of hope.

Take care!

Your

Wicked and Clever

Šárka

The Positive Diary #1 – Affordable healthy vegan food

19th September 2018 – As a result of fighting my own demons, two months back I started to write something I call the positive diary. In the name of practicing gratitude and also because I finally purchased the super cute and super expensive note book I was spying on for a while, I decided I will put in there only kind and loving words, flashes of happiness I experience on a daily basis but in the darkest times I tend to forget about them. The plan is simple: Once the demons come out again, I can grab these notes and try to remember that there is plenty of good and life-worthy things in my everyday life.

 

And, as I was thinking about it more deeply, with seeing the rise of a movement advocating for mental health and for not being ashamed of mental health condition on the Instagram (no matter if the talks are about OCD – try @unfollowanxiety of my precious friend Michelle, who has come already a long way and fought already a long fight, or about fighting depressions – you can try the very honest @fightingdepressionswithphoto profile) I thought it would be nice to share this idea on my blog. Even though I am well aware that only a positive mindset cannot fight such a terrible demon we encounter so often, I believe it can still have a big impact.

 

Therefore, I am here today with the very first note of my online positive diaries.

 

Today, I wanted to talk about being a vegan in 21stcentury.

 

I was thinking about it during my today’s breakfast. Firstly, I was mad for some reason. I didn’t really feel to eat the healthy breakfast I prepared, the coffee wasn’t done yet and I have already managed to bath both of our dogs therefore I was getting very hungry and very impolite. But when I tried my breakfast – it was sliced banana and plums with oat flakes and soya yogurt, just for the record – I realized how grateful I should be that I can enjoy this breakfast even though I avoid eating dairy products.

 

Nowadays we have all we want and all we need within arm’s reach, so we might take it for granted. But I remember quite clearly that when my brother had this terrifying allergy on milk and eggs as a toddler there weren’t as many options for him to eat as there are today. As a student of social and cultural ecology, I realize how gigantic price we as the world pay for this abundance and despite that, or maybe just because of that, we should be thankful for being able to buy almond milk, soya yogurt, vegan cheese but also plenty of unprocessed food from which we can make our homemade treats.

 

So today I am very grateful for being able to afford healthy, nutritious and compassionate food every day, without harming animals and while contributing to the global climate change slightly less.

 

What are you grateful for today? 🙂 Let me know in the comment section or on my Instagram or Facebook Page.

 

Have an amazing rest of your day!

 

Your Wicked and Clever

Šárka